My Name is Earl

"Earl Hickey: [Randy crashed his moped] You all right?
Randy Hickey: Yeah. Stupid pothole tripped me.
[to pothole]
Randy Hickey: Why don't you look where you're goin'!
Earl Hickey: Randy, why don't you sit down for a minute?
Randy Hickey: I am sittin'.
[pause]
Randy Hickey: Oh.
[sits down]
Randy Hickey: When did you grow a moustache?"



"Joy Turner: Oh, snap! Earl's drivers licence! I'm holding onto this for a rainy day.
Darnell Turner: Too bad it didn't thunder when you said that. That woulda been cool, like you're an evil genius or something.
Joy Turner: That would have been cool.
[holds the licence up and shouts]
Joy Turner: I'm holding on to this for a rainy day!
Darnell Turner: I think you need clouds to thunder.
Joy Turner: [gasps] Look at that bird up there! How the hell do they stay up there like that?"



"Glenn: I"m gonna rip off your ears, and shove them up your butt just so you can hear me kickin' your ass!"